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Contact:  Pamela Chilton or Hugh Harmon Ph.D
Tel: 800-403-4325
E-mail:
odyssey at odysseyofthesoul.org (Replace the at with @.)
Odyssey Of The Soul
Seven Simple Steps to 
Great Parenting

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Odyssey 
of the Soul 

Authors: 
Dr. Hugh Harmon, Ph.D. 
and 
Pamela Chilton, C.Ht.

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PARENTING THROUGH SUGGESTION

Children are very open to “suggestion,” a powerful method of engaging the cooperation of their subconscious minds to help them generate desired results. This means that as a parent, what you say, how you listen and the examples you set can make a difference in their grades, attitudes, behavior, health, and intelligence. 
 

Seven Simple Steps to Great Parenting:

(1) Set a great example. 

Parents who have raised their children can tell you: Ultimately, children pay far closer attention to what you do than what you say. 

  • Want your child to grow into an adult that sacrifices or sabotages personal or professional fulfillment and satisfaction? Then go ahead and sacrifice and sabotage. 
  • Want your child to grow up and become addicted to bad habits or secretive behavior? Go ahead, indulge. 
  • Want your child to take little heed of others needs? Be selfish. 
  • Want your child to ignore courtesy, politeness, or hypocrisy. You know what to do. 
  • Want a child that "drops out" of civic duty or responsibility? Then don't vote. Don't care. 
  • Want a child that pollutes? Then pollute. 
  • A child that is lazy? Don't do. A child that believes the world owes them? Then whine, beg, complain and make excuses for stealing from your place of employment. 
  • Want a child that grows to find the best in personal and professional fulfillment and satisfaction? 
Set a great example.

A great example includes keeping yourself and your children healthy. Follow the "Seven Simple Steps for Health and Well Being." When your children are old enough, give them a copy of these steps and share with them how these steps have benefited you and them. 

(2) Use the power of positive suggestions.

Like it when someone tells you that you can't or shouldn't do something? Neither does your child. Like being scolded or criticized when you haven't done something perfectly? Neither does your child. Prefer to be complimented on what you've done well, then encouraged to do better on what needs improvement? So does your child.

A study was conducted at the University of Illinois on the positive vs. negative messages the average 2 year old received in the course of 24 hours. Negative messages included,but were not limited to—"you can't, you mustn't, you shouldn't, bad boy, bad girl," and just plain "no" without explanation why. Care to guess the ratio? 672 negative messages to a single positive! No wonder most people lead with the negative. Make an effort to change the status quo. Lead with the positive. Then follow through with the positive. The positive results will reward your efforts.

If you find yourself trying to be positive, but just can't seem to break old negative patterns, or you become angry and resistant at the thought of being positive—seek counseling. A good counselor will help you determine whether therapy is needed. 

(3) Listen more and lecture less.

Children know when they’ve "messed up". When they "mess up" discuss this with them, without rancor. Pretend you are the most patient person you know. Then ask your child "why?" When you get "I dunno" or a shrug—and you will meet plenty of both in your parenting role—say, "Then tell me how it made you feel. Be truthful. There’s no judgment about your feelings. Lots of things feel good while you are doing it, but don't feel so good afterwards. So let’s talk about what you felt before, during, and after. Start wherever you want to." Then listen to their feelings. 

Help them to evaluate their feelings and their actions with the "long view" in mind. If they say, "I didn't feel anything", say, "That’s cause for concern. It’s hard to feel nothing. It means something is wrong inside. I think we’d better both go for some counseling to find out what’s happening to you inwardly. We’ll talk about what you did after the counseling." If that doesn't open them up to discussing their feelings, Find counseling for your child, you, and anyone else involved in raising the child. (This includes caretakers if they are with your child a major part of the week.) 

(4) Help your child find positive outlets for negative emotions.

All emotions have a positive use, even so called "negative" ones. Anger defends body and soul. Fear warns of danger. Frustration indicates a need for greater understanding. Depression points to inner pain. Boredom cries out for meaningful stimulation.

Teach your child how to find positive outlets for their emotions. Small children and artistic older children find great release in drawing or sculpting their angers, fears, frustrations, and pain. 

Don't censor anything your child draws. If it is horrifying—maiming or killing someone or something—say, "Oh, you must have been very upset. Let’s talk about what upset you so." Then listen. Help them find a positive solution to the situation. 

As children get older, encourage them to write about their emotions and stressful experiences. (Recent studies show adult patients with mild to moderately severe asthma or rheumatoid arthritis improved significantly after writing about past stressful experiences for four months. (JAMA 1999;281:1304-1309) Don't ask to see what they’ve written, but periodically ask if writing about their experiences is proving helpful and if they’d like to share with you what they’ve written or how the writing has helped them. If they say they aren't writing, ask how they are relieving their frustrations, anger, and stress. Then listen. Help them find positive ways for stress and anger release, then help them imagine positive and beneficial solutions to stressful situations of the past as a way of encouraging positive and resourceful thinking in future situations. 

After releasing the "negative" emotions and finding a positive solution to what caused your child to "act out", ask young children to point to and older children to talk about the part of their bodies where they felt the most tension and upset. Then place your hand gently on or just over that part and say, "Let’s you and I put healing light and love there."

If your young child points to a sexual organ, don't panic, but heighten your awareness. Ask if anyone has touched them there in a way they didn't like. If they say yes, listen. If they look away or down, or say no and look guilty or fearful, say, "Sometimes people try to scare children by telling them lies. No one is going to get hurt and you are not a bad person. Secrets that hurt you should be told. You can tell me." If you hear something you don't want to hear, be very careful how you react. First reassure your child he or she is a good person and has done nothing wrong, but that the person who did that should know better and you are going to see to it your child is never alone with that person again. Then hug your child. Then deal with the situation. 

If sexual touching is with another child, keep your cool. Children explore. If the other child has been forceful with your child (won't stop when asked to stop) or is more than a year older than your child, approach the other child’s parents—but cautiously and without accusatory blame. If the parents are unapproachable, keep your child from that child’s presence. If it has happened with another child in a school or care-taking situation, privately give a "heads-up" to the caretaker or teacher. Keep the lines of communication open with your child.

If the sexual touching is abuse or molest (there is a teenager or adult involved or your child has been unable to stop the situation), get professional counseling for your child and yourself. The counselor will know how to help you approach the proper authorities who can see to it this person does not get to your child or other children again. 

Remember this—sexual abusers have nearly always been abused themselves. Don't judge, but do report and do insist on the abuser being segregated from children until a professional therapist trained in working with child molesters determines this person is no longer a danger to children 

(5) Help your child honor the worthy.

Speak openly and with pride of the people and the traditions you admire, as well as why you admire them. Practice the traditions you hope your child will practice when not with you. Don't force these—rebellion is sure to follow. Speak—without lecturing—of how these traditions benefit you. Let your child see how they benefit you. 
 

(6) Teach your child to respect other cultures and races.

In today’s world, your child will interact daily with people of other cultures and races. If children are not to grow up handicapped in the world in which they live, work and play—avoid teaching prejudice. Teach your child respect for others and the richness of his/her own culture and race. 

(7) Give your child a spiritual foundation.

Children (and adults) who believe there is a greater power within themselves they can call on to help them in times of difficulty and celebrate with them in times of joy fare better than those who do not. 

Keep it simple with young children. They understand the power of light to chase away darkness and the scary thoughts and sounds that lurk within it. Tell them they have a light inside themselves that never goes out and never goes away. Tell them they can talk to this light and that, if they listen quietly, the light will answer them. At the very least, you are helping your child tune into his/her intuition. And what is intuition but a powerful inner guidance?

Speak to older children about this Light also. Let them know it is their connection with the spiritual deity or energies you trust and worship and share with them how you do this. Teach them how to use this spiritual connection for inner strength and guidance.

Teach your child to pray and to meditate by praying and meditating with your children until they are ready to do each on their own. Here is a simple and powerful combination of prayer and meditation that is easy for both you and your children to do, helps the Earth, helps your children and you, and helps all of you to help others.

Close the eyes and take a deep breath. Imagine each of you are holding Earth in your caring hands. Ask the Deity you worship for spiritual Light. Imagine this Light as a beam of Light coming in through the top of your heads. Now imagine this beam of Light is coming out through the spiritual eye in the middle of the forehead to the Earth. (The middle of the forehead is a spot that has been called the "spiritual eye" for thousands of years.)

When sending spiritual Light to the Earth it is best not to add any prayers or words - silent or spoken. First, because The Creator of Earth knows best what to do with this Light. Secondly, because meditation is a silencing of the mind and this few seconds of silence trains the mind for longer meditations.

Now imagine the beam of Light coming back to you and your child. Now you can direct the Light, if you choose, asking it to bring health and strength in your bodies and happiness and good into your lives. (Picturing oneself doing something joyful and the body healthy and strong is a good way to add the power of visualization.)

Now imagine the beam of Light going to everyone and everything you want to bless with spiritual Light. Family members, pets, friends, school, the playground, teachers, the country, the car, toys - everything and everyone your child wants to feel he or she is helping.

"Bad" things happen everyday. If your child has not asked "why" he or she will. Have an answer prepared for this. If you don't have an answer, seek the guidance of your spiritual counselor. If you don't have a spiritual counselor, pray and ask for guidance on this matter. Encouraging a child - even young children - to ask the Light inside themselves for the answers to their spiritual questions is always good.

See Also:

Seven Simple Steps to Great Parenting

Seven Simple Steps to a Spiritual Odyssey

Seven Simple Steps For Health & Well Being

Seven Simple Steps To Connect Mind, Body, Spirit

Seven Simple Steps For Discovering Your Past Lives

Online Press Kit: Odyssey of the Soul


     

    Bio

           
    Pamela Chilton & Hugh Harmon 

     

    Dr. Hugh Harmon, Ph.D. and Pamela Chilton, C.Ht. are co-authors with the "Master of Light" for the book series Odyssey of the Soul met as teacher and student. They now work together in an extraordinary partnership, offering healing and hypnosis as a form of therapy. Their understanding of non-physical realms, numerous modalities of healing and the many levels of human consciousness is literally "mind boggling" as their many readers, clients and students can attest.

    It is not just the individual that needs healing. Chilton and Harmon emphasize that the Earth itself needs spiritual healing, and that the spiritual energy produced by focusing more individual energy, or prayer, towards healing is exactly what the Earth needs to regain its balance. "Multiply the human minds focused on light and the positive effects multiply. Surround the earth with Light and all the world benefits," say  the authors. 

    Together, Pamela Chilton, C.Ht. and Hugh Harmon, Ph.D. wrote Odyssey of the Soul -- the first in a trilogy of spiritually infused books of healing for individuals and the Earth. The book is recommended as a resource for articles and interviews about metaphysics, victims of abuse, and people who are ill. Collectively, the techniques in the book will help impact our world problems with the environment and other issues.   

    For Reviews and Comments From Readers
    Go To Comment From Readers

    For Professional Credentials of Pamela and Dr. Hugh
    go to Meet The Authors

    Contact information: For expertise interview about using the power of the Light to heal, contact Call (800) 403-4325. (Ask for Dr. Harmon.) Review books available on request. E-mail  odyssey@odysseyofthesoul.org. For more detailed information, please visit the official web site: http://www.odysseyofthesoul.org/
     
     



     
     

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