Foundation for Research and Exploration of Mind Motivation

Hugh Harmon, Ph.D. Founder      Pamela Chilton, C.Ht. Director

The Treasure Chest

HELPING YOUR CHILD HEAL SEXUAL MOLEST

(See Also When Your Child Has Nightmares)

2004 copyright, Pamela Chilton, Director

Foundation For Research & Exploration of Mind Motivation (F.R.E.O.M.M.) 760-772-6628

www.odysseyofthesoul.org

CHILDREN may see spirits with their molesters, which can be confusing when discussing the molest, especially if the spirits did the molesting.

Spirit attachments are people who did not move on after their deaths. (See WHEN PEOPLE DIE. SEE Spirit Attachments.) There are as many types of spirit attachments as there are types of people. Molesters who do not move on after their death will often attach themselves to individuals who are unable to resist them. (Boys who have themselves been molested in ways in which they felt totally powerless are more prone to this as they become "conditioned" to giving up total control of their bodies to more powerful personalities. Molest is an aggressive act, which is why there are more male than female molesters. Females are, in general, more likely to turn their aggression on themselves.) Molesters that are taken over by other personalities (which can be a spirit attachment or an alter ego) often "black out" during the molest and so do not consciously know it happened. Accusing such a person is useless - they honestly don’t remember. Once confronted with evidence of molest, however, these people have a responsibility to get the kind of therapy that will help him/her.

Spirits can make themselves look like someone the child knows, which becomes very confusing to the child who sees spirits. Often children will make up names for the spirits that molest them and these names can be familiar ones of people known to them. Children will make up a name for molesters they want to protect or if they want to protect others from knowing who the molester is. Molest is often traumatizing, causing children to mix up the name, faces and/or bodies of people who molested them with people who did not. Children can confuse what they witness of adult behavior -in person, in the movies, on T.V. and radio, what others tell them - as having happened to them. Most young children and many sensitive older children "read minds". They are aware of "dirty thoughts" and react to these thoughts as though they were actual experiences. Dreams are very real to children, as real as memories, and they can easily confuse the two. Plus, dreams or memories of molest can be memories of a past life and the child is seeing the face/body of who the person in the past life is today. Because of all this:

NEVER ACCUSE A PERSON BASED ONLY ON A CHILD’S

(OR "INNER CHILD’S") MEMORIES.

If your child tells you about being sexually molested, KEEP COOL. Do NOT question whether the molest "really" happened. Accept what your child tells you as "real". What happens in their minds is real to a child and will have the same effect as physical events. It is confusing to children when adults don’t realize this. It is confusing when adults suggest aloud or mentally (children read minds) what might have happened. Such suggestions become real to a child. The time to find out whether physical molest occurred and who was involved in the molest is not before or during therapy, it is when and if the child is willing to discuss it and is able to discern what happened mentally and what happened physically. This day may never come. Then why take a child to therapy? To help the child unburden himself/herself of harmful secrets. To help the child realize how he/she was manipulated and how to prevent it from happening again. To help the child know the difference between "good" touch and "bad" touch. To help the child know what to do with anger, shame, fear, guilt, hate. To help the child find his/her power over spirits and molesters. To help the child handle a body that has been prematurely "sexualized". To help a child change uncomfortable feelings and negative thoughts about sex so these do not interfere in sexual relations in adulthood. To help the child understand he/she did nothing wrong. (Such a belief left unchanged can lead to life long patterns of self-punishment and self-sabotage.) To help the child learn to trust adults again and to know which adults can be trusted. (If you want to be one of these adults, never ever lie to a child. Never tell them something different than what you are thinking. They know subconsciously what you are thinking and will not trust you if you tell them even protective lies. There is no need to burden them with details. Tell them the simple, what a child can understand version of the truth.

Therapy is for healing, it should not be for detective work. When a child’s safety and well being are at stake, a reputable, professional detective is the best investment you will ever make. (Tell the detective what you can pay up front and what you will pay in monthly payments after that. A detective who cares about children will meet your budget.) Never leave your child alone if at all possible with the person(s) named until the truth is known. Do not tell this person what your child has said. If you have concerns for other children, keep them to yourself unless you have clear evidence of molest. You can always remind parents of the prevalence and seeming "normalcy" of child molesters and the importance of forewarning their children of the kinds of ploys child molesters use. Forget about "protecting their innocence". Molesters prey on the innocent.

Take your child to a professional therapist experienced in healing molest and who is aware of the complexities of a child’s mind, is aware of spirit attachments, past life memories, and mental molest. If a therapist is more concerned with finding out who did the molest than with helping your child learn how to heal and protect him/her self in the future, take the child to another therapist. If your child feels better each time he/she sees the therapist and alarming behaviors are lessening, the therapy is working. If your child feels or acts irritable, angry, distressed, upset, withdrawn after a therapy session the therapist is not right for your child. Rapport with the therapist is crucial for your child. (Even an excellent therapist will not be good for your child if he/she reminds the child in any way of a person the child does not like or trust.)

IF you do not have access to an expert therapist:

• Get your child away from the person(s) named if possible, hire a detective if it is not possible or if other children are at risk.
• Help your child with his/her dream world. (See When Your Child Has Nightmares).
• Help your child learn how to release anger, guilt, shame, fear, frustration. (See How To Master Your Emotions.)
• Encourage your child’s trust and open communication with you.